By: Jack Brittle, Local Journalism Initiative Reporter, Burlington Local-News.ca
On February 6, the Ireland House Museum hosted one of its After Dark tours, this one themed around Victorian courtship, in celebration of Valentine’s Day.
The tour began in the museum portion of the property, where the tour guide walked attendees through the Ireland family tree, as well as a brief history of the ownership of the house.
The tour then moved into the Ireland House proper, where the guide walked guests through the various rooms and areas, stopping at each to provide context and history.
The guide said that photos or portraits, called “carts,” were a popular part of courtship in Victorian Canada. As photos were very expensive at the time, subjects would dress their best to make the most of the opportunity. Potential lovers would often bring a prop to the photoshoot and strike an eye-catching pose to show off their personality.
Boards with more information about Victorian courtship were placed in the cellar of the Ireland House, with each focusing on a different aspect of the tradition.
Giving a piece of hair was also a very popular courting tradition, as a way of creating intimacy with your potential lover.
Gift-giving, however, was forbidden until engagement.
To court a woman, a prospective suitor would have to write a letter to the woman’s father. In the letter, the young man would have to disclose how much money he had, what he did for a living and how he planned to take care of the father’s daughter. Based on how the letter received by the father, the young man could either be invited over for dinner or his advances might be refused.
A candle would be placed in a spiral holder, the height of which could be adjusted depending on how much time the father wanted the courting couple to spend together. When the candle burned down to the holder, the young man would have to go home.
Couples would often play games in the parlour as well, such as “If You Love Me Dearest, Smile,” where one participant would try to make all the other players smile. The last person to smile would win.
When the tour moved into the kitchen, the guide mentioned that young Victorian women were expected to spend most of their time in that room. Women were meant to be calm-tempered and enjoy cooking and sewing.
The tour then moved to the dining room, where the guide spoke about wedding and marriage traditions. Victorian wedding gifts were not supposed to be practical, as this might suggest the couple was needy. Fine China, crystal, and silver were all popular gifts to give.
Queen Victoria herself is credited with popularizing companionate marriages when she was wed to Prince Albert in 1840. Before this, couples usually married for purely practical reasons, rather than out of love and affection.
Ovens purchased by Victorian households often came bundled with a fully functional miniature version of the appliance, a precursor to the Easy-Bake Oven.
The guide explained that Valentine’s Day cards started to come into fashion in the 1840s. In 1841, 400,000 Valentines were sent through the British postal system. They were mostly homemade up until the 1900s.
When the tour moved into the main bedroom, the guide spoke about the historical practice of bundling, which existed in some communities as a way to allow courting couples to spend the night together.
Bundling was meant to prevent premarital sex when sharing a bed, and sometimes involved the use of bags with drawstrings at the neck and the ankles. Couples would sometimes be sewn into the bags, or boards might be used, placed in the centre of the bed to separate the couple.
Parental consent was needed to engage in bundling, and it was meant to help couples determine compatibility and develop a deeper sense of attraction prior to marriage. However, if pregnancy occurred as a result of bundling, young men were held accountable, and the couple immediately wed.
The Victorian Courtship tour runs until February 13; click here to purchase tickets at $15 per person. To find out more about the Ireland House Museum, click here.
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